Calling Mama

RETURN to the inSIDER

I wrote this piece today to try and speak to things that I know people have gone through. I consider myself fortunate that I have not gone through this kind of heartbreak… but if you have, this is for you. I hope you know you are loved and we will all be okay. That being said, I’ve never hesitated calling my mother when things get hard.

My friends have been telling me that I’ve got a problem 
But I just can’t seem to hear them, because I don’t have you anymore
I remember you telling me goodbye… for “one final time”
As you grabbed your clothes from my floor, replacing them with us

You’re my greatest weakness, and yet my greatest strength 
You’ve been my failure, but my only success

You wasted my love
So tonight
I’m calling my mama

The mirror in my bathroom has started mocking me our memories
It’s like it knows that it’s only me, standing there
And now it starts replaying you and me brushing our teeth
Over and over and over again

You were my revival, and now you’re replaced with emptiness
You’re the only cure, and yet you’re the outpouring source of my pain

My love was wasted
So again
I’m calling my mama

I cut my hair
I shattered our frames
I threw your clothes into the flames
I prayed to God
I pleaded “why”
I tried to find you in other guys
so 
I’ll collapse 
And scream at the moon
And I’ll try to survive 

Without you

My love was wasted
So as long as it takes
I’ll talk to mama



RETURN to the inSIDER

Kara Allen is a CSU Public Relations Assistant and is currently a Senior studying Communications at Minnesota State Mankato. Kara is from Grand Rapids, MN and has grown up loving to write in her free time; finding the hidden idiosyncrasies within herself through the writing. She plans on pursuing a career in Public Affairs for the U.S. Army and continuing on with writing for enjoyment.

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