by KARA ALLEN, CSU Public Relations Assistant
I wrote this piece as I was thinking about the helplessness that we’ve most likely all felt during COVID-19. The last eight months have been full of trial and error and falling and understanding. Somedays, like the day I started this writing, I am frustrated and challenged by the person 2020 made me. Other days, like the day I finished this writing, I remember why some side effects were good. So, I remember the bad and try to replace it with the good.
I remember the first news headline I saw. I remember the first mask I saw in the O’Hare airport. I remember the first week of March being the last week of normalcy. I remember the first time I started to get scared. I remember the memes about Tiger King. I remember family walks that happened three times a day. I remember hoping the snow melting was synched to the disappearance of the virus. I remember my professor’s face in a box on Zoom being my only social interaction. I remember my brother-in-law signing his contract to be a COVID nurse. I remember waving to my grandfather through his window at the nursing home. I remember being told my fiance’s deployment was being extended. I remember crying and hoping for a tomorrow where I could see others smile. I remember being alone as celebrities said, “We’re all in this together”. I remember doing the math on how many groceries I could get and still make rent. I remember my grandma saying, “I’d rather die of the virus than die here alone of heartbreak”. I remember seeing my dad cry. likewise I remember realizing I have parents that I will never be able to deserve. I remember my friends calling to check on me. I remember taking a lot of naps with my old dog that I would’ve missed. I remember understanding that I take things for granted. I remember my favorite birthday to date, with just my parents and my dog. I remember noticing the vividness of the stars outside of the city. I remember my professors caring about how I was doing outside of my grades. I remember feeling more like a human than I had in years. I will always remember this time. And I will always coat my hate for it with gratitude, Because I am indebted to its clarity.
Kara Allen is a CSU Public Relations Assistant and is currently a Senior studying Communications at Minnesota State Mankato. Kara is from Grand Rapids, MN and has grown up loving to write in her free time; finding the hidden idiosyncrasies within herself through the writing. She plans on pursuing a career in Public Relations for the U.S. Army and continuing on with writing for enjoyment.
