by KARA ALLEN, CSU Public Relations Assistant
This week in 2020 @ 20: Kara Allen, I am giving you the backside of my love story. The heartache that comes with being in love. The impossible reality of where I find myself. The window seat… the source and the cure of my pain.
I sit down in my favorite place, the window seat. I sit down and buckle up as I look to my left. I see trees and shadows of clouds that squash the cities below. I feel the friction of the wheels as I unbuckle my belt and stretch my legs. I search for the outline of your body and the shadow of your eyelashes on your cheek. I drop my bags as I am swept up by you. And for a moment, just for a moment… everything is perfect.
Your hand steals the coldness of mine and returns the joy to my face. The smell of your t-shirt is familiar, and the stubble on your chin is just as I left you it seems. You lose my loneliness without a trace, and bring me back to ice cream on sunburnt lips. I am captivated by feeling so safe.
But our days are short and our countdowns are long So my bag is put back together again as we try to ignore the clock running short. I hold my breath and I lie to myself, “it’ll be easier this time” But the cell phone lot can only hold so much distraction. So you open my door and look me in the eye And for a moment, just for a moment… I let myself forget.
The halls are busy today as i show my pass and scan my ID I refuse to look back to see if you’re still there. I tell the flight attendant to have a nice day as I search for 22F I lean against the cold glass, as I sit with heartbreak.. So familiar
Back in the window seat.